Finding out for the first time that your child is capable of lying can be a disconcerting experience. You start to wonder whether he or she is developing into a pathological liar and begin fretting about the course of action you should take to nip this problem in the bud.

Child experts agree that there is one course of action you can take: do nothing.

In fact, according to Associate Professor of Psychology Angela Crossman from John Jay College of Criminal Justice, a pre-schooler with above-average IQ surprisingly tends to lie more often. Research also shows that a pre-schooler with an aptitude for lying develops better social skills when they become adolescents.

Of course, it is still important to educate your child about the value of honesty. Understanding the difference between a lie that helps your little one’s development and a lie that hurts the affected people will help you guide your child.

The First Fibs (Before the age of 3)
Children usually begin lying between the ages of 2 and 3, dishing out half-truths and whole lies in order to gain something for themselves. They could be trying to get out of a disliked activity or deflecting the blame away from themselves.

At this age, your children will not understand that what they’re doing (lying) is wrong. Getting angry and punishing them will not serve any purpose except make you frustrated and your child confused and hurt. Instead, talk to them about the direct consequences of their action. For example, if your child accidentally breaks a vase, keep calm and point out to him or her that the vase has been broken. Stop yourself from asking your child who is responsible. He or she will most likely point a finger at the sibling or even an imaginary friend.

Tall Tales, Elastic Reality (Ages 3 – 5)
Your children will seem to have a tenuous grasp on reality, believing strongly in monsters under the bed and playing with invisible friends. Occasionally, some of your children’s tall tales might seem troubling such as the sudden death of an imaginary buddy, but it is important to keep things in perspective.

The fantasy that your children have constructed for themselves is actually one of the ways for them to process new ideas in life, such as the troubling concept of death, without being overwhelmed.

Acknowledge and indulge their tall tales during this period; it is an amazing age of discovery for them.